February Edition

I don’t know about you but I’m already counting down until Spring. This month I talk online dating, my new favorite beauty product, and my new section, Out the Box, which will cover anything from nightlife, blogs, books, and pop culture.

Feature

Online Dating Etiquette 101
After years of on and off usage of online dating and hearing stories from various people, I’ve put together some of my top etiquette when online/app dating to keep your karma shiny and your dating successful.

If you swipe then respond- Why waste the time winking/swiping/staring or whatever and then fail to communicate with that person? I know some use apps like Bumble or Tinder as a confidence booster but there are other places to go for that kind of need.

Don’t spend too much time texting/messaging- The goal is to meet people. If you are still messaging someone two weeks in without even a phone call, move on. The only reason this pen pal situation drags on is because the person is seeing someone else but wants you waiting in the wings, is catfishing you, is married, is wasting your time.

Don’t be a no show- Online dating shouldn’t make a person less courteous to others. You are still speaking with an actual person online so treat them with respect.

Keep the conversation going- This one is a common pet peeve. If a person writes to you and you respond, add something more than just a response to the question to add value. If all you are doing is answering the questions or just adding “and you?”, this is not a conversation. This is borderline interviewing and it shows disinterest in getting to know the other person.

Be honest- The truth is going to come out and if you’ve ever watched Catfish, no amount of a good personality is going to makeup for the lie. Use real, recent pictures with close ups and full body shots. Don’t fudge your height. Don’t lie about your age or job. Don’t hide that you are separated or have kids. I find that if you are real in your profile you have more confidence upon the first meeting because you’ve always presented the authentic you.

Limit your options- It can be overwhelming and almost like a game to keep swiping all day but if you spread yourself thin are you really able to make a connection (assuming that’s what you want)? Focus on a few people and put real effort in. If nothing works, then move on.

And of course, last but not least, have fun. When it starts to feel like work, take a break.

Product of the Month

I love a good blush if it helps to bring an enhancing pop to your face. I cringe whenever I see someone who just puts some pink on their cheeks and keeps it moving. Blush should add depth or accentuate your best, almost like contouring. This month I got Seraphine Botanicals Lychee and Gold blush. This pink blush has a light shimmer to it that gives a nice highlight and a lit from within look.

Out the Box

I’m a movie buff and avid reader, but I’m not one for the mushiness unless it’s laced in horror, science fiction, or fantasy. Since it’s February, I thought I’d recommend a couple of “out the box” romance books and movies.
If you like a bit of romance with your horror check out Warm Bodies. I found the story of a zombie falling in love with a girl (and not eating her) quite compelling despite how crazy the premise sounds.
If you like science fiction and romance check out the 2011 movie staring Ewan McGregor called Perfect Sense. Set in a world were a disease causes humankind to lose all their senses one by one, two people still manage to fall in love. Pulls the heartstrings and stuff.

For my readers, if you love urban fantasy (like I do) but still want some romance, check out the new series from Ilona Andrews (actually a husband and wife writing duo), Hidden Legacy. Set in a world where magic rules the day and the more you have of it, the higher in society you are. When two mages from different walks of life come together to track down a powerful bad guy, welp love and stuff happens.

Happy Valentine’s Day. Until next time!

My Top Places to Shop in Baltimore

And now we enter my final (for now) ode to Baltimore with SHOPPING! Ah, yes, nothing makes a Type A girl more cosmo than the love of shopping. In fact, since leaving Baltimore I miss my downtown shopping experiences. Don’t sleep on good ole Bmore, we have a great arts scene in all respects. Don’t believe me?  Check out the yearly Artscape.

But my favorite art (other than writing of course) is clothing design (well, looking at it). And I love a good boutique. I have fond memories of these spots and have been recommended several. Check them out if you are a shopping diva like moi. Read More

SATC Talk: Bay of Married Pigs: Can single women and married women be friends?

This is the third episode of the first season and is actually a question I wonder about. Now, I’m not talking about friends you already have who get married or become single. I’m talking about attracting new friends who are married if you are a single woman. And I mean meaningful friendships.

In this episode, Carrie has an awkward encounter with a friends husband while staying with them at their beach house. Zach Morris time out (yes I dated myself): What couple invites a single woman on vacation with them? Like even if my sister (my bestie) invited me out with her and her man on a fabulous destination: boo, I’ll pass unless you are inviting another (hot) eligible bachelor.

Ok, back to the regularly scheduled program. Also in this episode, Miranda’s boss tries to hook her up. She didn’t ask for help but there is obvious a percieved problem with seeing this single woman. And they decide that she must be a lesbian because that’s who they hook her up with.

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So I’ve met a few attached women in my life and, honestly, unless they are older and are more of a mentor to me, I really don’t have the same type of close friendships that I have with my single gals. This got me wondering why and I can only think of these “obstacles” to justify why I don’t make new married friends: Read More

SATC: Girl Code

I know this will come as a big surprise but I am a huge fan of Sex and the City. I will watch it all these years later and still find it totally relevant. So I wonder what a 30 something Carrie/Charlotte type o gal would say about some of her favorite episodes and how they applied to life 11 years after the series ended. So enter my series of posts called SATC Talk.

sex-and-the-city-season-1_71001357So watching the first season of SATC doesn’t get me the girlfriend vibe that the later seasons do but few fun series start with a bang and the first season still held many relatable messages and themes. One thing from the pilot episode I recall was the very ending when Samantha hooked up with the guy Charlotte had just finished having a very respectable date with (he wanted to hook up, she did not). I wasn’t clear if Samantha knew or not that he was Charlotte’s date but it got me thinking about girl codes. I have a few that I just assume all women know, let me know if you disagree or if I’m missing some. Read More

Where To Make Friends

So a Cosmo girl can’t be a gal about town if she has no pals to strut with. No matter your age or location, friends are key to a fulfilling life. However, unless you’ve kept your same crew from school, once you graduate it can be hard to make new friends. I had gals I was so close with in school but once we graduated we slowly went our separate ways. Some of this was due to moving, some due to a shared experience being the real bond holding us together.

So what is a girl to do when she’s ready to make her social mark on the world but does not want to do it alone? Read More

Has TV Ruined Dating?

Long ago, in a land not far, far away, there was this thing called courtship. Men asked you out in person, by letter or on the phone. They met you with flowers and took you to nice establishment that made you feel special. Women were chaste and gave the art of conversation. Plans were made, you saw each other again. The longer you courted the closer you became. Eventually you reached a commitment and things were good. It’s true, I tell ya, these things did happen. I read about them in books and stuff. And I vaguely remember experiencing this in high school. And sometimes, on rare occasions, I even still see these things happen, but then I rub my eyes and it’s gone. Perhaps just a dream.

Because now our courtship consist of back and forth texts, requests to “hang out” or “meet up” at some non set time (say 7 or 730ish) at some non set place (translation: no reservations) where food may or not be had (usually coffee or drinks will do). If you are really lucky… Read More

New Year, New- Better Me?

I suppose I have to write the obligatory new years post. I won’t be talking about any resolutions. If I didn’t do them before, I’m not going to do them now simply because a new year came around. The pressure of trying to achieve goals simply because it’s a new year doesn’t really add up to me. We say we’ll do something to change who we are and don’t have a real game plan or don’t like the work we have to do to change and end up dropping the idea. Why do we need to change? Why can’t a new year just bring out the same you just better? The idea that there must be a new you each year in itself sets you up with the dark feeling that you aren’t enough and that you’ve wasted yet another year. I say, forget about new year’s resolutions and just always aim to just be more of the best of what you already are.

Therefore, the one thing I will aim to do for for every day, is (Read More)

My Top Christmas Songs That Bring Good Cheer

Ok so I’m pretty unique in that I love Christmas (voice laced in sarcasm) but nothing makes me more happy besides spending time with family, eating yummy food and watching holiday movies than hearing a good Christmas tune. It just puts me in a festive mood. I can be scrubbing the floors and having a blast if I’m doing it while listening to a jingle melody. And it’s not just the music but the memories and feelings that come along with it.

So I asked myself, I said, “Cosmo Girl”, because that’s what I call myself, “If you had to pick, what would be your top five Christmas songs?” And so I present to you my holly, jolly, feeling the holidays top songs.

Read More

The Dos and Don’ts of Online Dating Part Two

Now I’m not doing this to be shady. I just really think that this could be helpful to those who care. And if there was a guy out there that has written a post to women about the dos and don’ts of online dating and what guys are really thinking or what works, I’d  want to read it.
I can’t say I represent all women but most if not all of my circle of friends and acquaintances have dabbled in the tricky realm of online dating. So I prepared a follow up to my previous post to men about our gripes. This comes from women of different ages, races and backgrounds. If none of this applies to you, please ignore, but if you have ever done this before, well, here’s a good guess about how it was received.
 
Here are my next top three online gripes to ponder… Read More